Memories
by Nemesris
Summary: I saw this post on tumblr once where the person wanted to see Cas and Sam talking about Jessica. It kinda broke my heart so I decided to give it a try. It's probably bad quality and filled with grammatical mistakes so I'm sorry for that and I hope you enjoy it anyway


Sam was beyond happy. Sure, as Cas mentioned it earlier, the Mark of Caïn was still on his brother's arm but at least Dean wasn't a demon anymore. Every small victory has to be celebrate, right ? So he was celebrating.

He was just starting to feel the effects of the alcohol he was drinking when Castiel came back into the Men of Letter's main room.

« You're brother's resting now. »

« Good ! » Sam said, taking another swallow of whisky. « Did he say something about me ? Does he want a divorce or something ? »

Castiel smiled at him then shook his head without answering. He took a chair and sat next to Sam.

« Did I say something funny ? »

« Not really, but you and your brother... you two are really similar sometimes. »

« Yeah right » Sam smiled. He took his glass and cleared it before putting the rest of the bottle in it. « Seems like we're running out of alcohol ! That's going to be a problem here. »

Castiel was still smiling at the giant man with his empty bottle. Despite all the differences that pulled sometimes those two apart, no one could deny the fact that they were brothers. The fact that when he left him a few minutes ago, Dean was complaining about the lack of alcohol in the bunker and that, like his brother, he was probably already drunk by now was one proof among many others. It was kind of touching actually, seeing them act like normal people for once.

The angel jumped with surprise when Sam suddently let his glass fall on the ground. Confused, this one was looking at it, then at his hand, then at the pieces of glass again like he was trying to figure out how on earth it could have gone from one point to the other. After a few seconds of silence the big guy finally started laughing at himself.

« Ouah, I guess I'm pretty drunk, he said, at least more than I thought ! »

Castiel looked at him, very seriously. « You should stop drinking or you're going to become like your brother. You two are going to need new livers very soon. »

Sam kept laughing « Ya, thanks man, I can that care of myself you know ! And so does Dean.» He stood up and went to get a new glass. « You know actually you're right. I'm really gonna end up like my brother. I used to avoid alcohol before ya know. Especially when I was at Stanford and even tho Jess used to say that I was too tense, that I needed to relax from time to time. If she could...see me now... »

Cas noticed a change in Sam's voice. He couldn't see his face but he knew he wasn't smiling anymore. When the young Winchester came back to his seat he stayed quiet, staring at the bottom of his new glass. Castiel waited patiently for his friend to look at him again. It took a minute or two. He could see that Sam was trying really hard not to cry, playing with his fingers and bitting the inside of his cheeks. But eventually he raised his head again.

« Who is Jess ? » Cas asked gently.

Sam hesitated a few seconds then cleared his throat « Jess...hum... Jessica Moore, she is... she was... the girl I was going to marry. She d... I lost her, ten years ago. » He smiled at Castiel while saying that. One of those sad smile of his. Despite all of his will, he couldn't stop the tears that were blurring his vision. The alcohol wasn't helping either, weakening him emotionally.

As for Castiel, he was quiet and standing still on his chair. It was like his mind was miles away, as his eyes where looking without seeing. His mouth was moving but no sound was coming out. After observing carefully, Sam understood that the angel was saying Jessica's name over and over again. Finally he came out of his torpor. He closed his eyes for a second then looked at Sam who was starting to worry.

« Jessica Moore, Castiel said, She has a very nice heaven Sam. It's full of memories of you. »

Sam stopped breathing for a quick moment then the most sincere smile appeared on his face. Abandoning his fight against his emotions, he let a tear roll down his face. No words came out of his mouth but the angel saw the gratitude in his eyes and smiled back. Sam opened a new bottle and served two drinks. He pushed one of them toward Castiel and raised his own, waiting for the angel do the same. When he did, the two men drank their alcohol quietly, in honor of the lose and the small victories.

 _Another time, another place..._

 _A young blond girl in a sexy nurse costume is adjusting her hat in front of a mirror. She's smiling of excitment, ready to go to an Halloween party she's been waiting for for weeks. She looks at herself with a nod of approval. There's only one thing missing now._

 _« Sam !» she calls « Get a move on, would you ? We were supposed to be there like fifteen minutes ago ! ». She waits a minute for an answer than leaves the room, calling again._

 _« Sam ! »_


End file.
